Scattered Thoughts | Andrew Smedley

The days grow colder once again 

It seems time never forgets its merciless routine 

All that’s happened since time before 

Was it worth it?

I wish it could be 

Now I sit still 

Unsure if waiting or wasting

Not convinced of where I want

Yet despite my own uncertainty

Time never hesitates

The autumn air remains so brilliant

The way it veils the mood

The way it takes control

My decadence in its distraction

Enough to love it

Enough to loathe it

As I deny deciding

One moment please

So relentless is desire

Despite its chances

Its paralyzing persistence

Too honest

I suppose I admire it

As much as I fear it

And anticipate its next move

So effortlessly compelling

Where next?

They say time flows like sands

Is that why it feels so dry?

Slow, burning, vapid

Begging for more

The invisible hourglass

Unable to be sought or shattered

But intimately familiar

The current unwavering

So oblivious to the consequences

I envy that choice

That incessant noise

Melodramatic clamor

I despise it

But I can’t cease what I see

I reward it

For all its given me

So natural

So senseless

Enough

Stop thinking