LK: Thank you for joining us today. We are so excited to have you and learn more about you and your writing? So my first few questions are going to be very simple. So what’s your name? Your major and your year?
LS: My name’s Lily Shaman. I am a freshman in college my first year. Super exciting. My Major. Right now I’m kind of going in between things. I’m not really sure what I wanna pursue just yet, but as of now I’m in stamps the Art and Design school at Michigan. I hope one day I can double major and art and design and psych
LK: So my first question for you about your piece is, what was your inspiration for what you wrote, which was called learning to live again?
LS: This piece was a personal memoir. It was actually one of my assignments for my creative writing class. Our assignment was a non fiction, a short non fiction piece, and it could be like a personal essay or a memoir. And you kinda could just focus on a period or event in your life that you kind of like strikes you as impactful or important. So I’ve struggled with body image and eating disorders for a good portion of my life. So whenever I have, like a personal story
to reflect on like this is usually what I gravitate towards, because it was so significant to me. so I kind of just wrote about like recently a peak that I had, or like kind of an epiphany that I had, where I realized that I was at the lowest point, and I needed to get out of it. So that kind of inspired that piece. It’s like a little snippet of my journey most recently, where I overcame such a low point in my life, and I kind of just wanted to capture it, and I also wanted to capture the feeling and the like tragedy of something that’s so relatable for everybody, and if it’s not relatable for someone, they can educate themselves on it. And I think that if you’re willing to be open and vulnerable about these things. You don’t really know who you’re helping or like the volume that
such a vulnerable piece speaks. So I kind of just wanted to inspire people, enlighten people. And just let people know that no matter how lonely, an eating disorder or those hard times feel that there’s always someone that can relate
LK: well, that’s great that you wrote that, and very brave. I really enjoyed reading your piece. It was very like open and vulnerable to your experience, and I think that it can be really helpful for people who are going through that, or people who want to learn more about what an experience is like. I think that it’s very useful in educating people and really connecting with people. And I was very inspired when I read your piece about your journey, and how you’re able to turn your life around and really like focus on your recovery. That was very inspiring cause. That is like a very difficult process and a difficult choice that people have to make. And it’s like, obviously a very ongoing process. So yeah, I’m really happy to hear that you were able to take those steps. And like. I’m very happy to hear that. So yeah, thank you. So my next question for you, then, is what inspires you to write in general.
LS: Honestly, I never really connected with anything in school like subjects like the conventional ones, at least, like I loved art class. I loved writing, but I was never like ‘oh, I love math and science’ like doing this confusing stuff that doesn’t interest me. So in high school towards the end of high school I realized how much I just appreciated writing. If I got it like a paper in history I would be like, ‘oh, thank God!’ Like ‘I can finally write for an assignment.’ I took a rhetoric class, my senior year of high school, which is really where I found my voice as a writer, I think.
and I just wanted to continue that in school. I’m kind of rambling. I forgot the question. What inspired I just felt like it was something that I’d been forced to do for so long in school that like when I started appreciating it and really finding myself, and like really pushing boundaries and seeing that it’s kind of something fun and something enjoyable, instead of just something I have to do for school, or I have to do, for, like my career. I really just learned to enjoy it. And then over the summer, I kind of started working on personal pieces. And then I knew I wanted to take creative writing or some sort, of course, in school, where I just had the freedom to write whatever I wanted. Just so I could further that like love and that spark that I had for writing. If that makes sense.
LK: Yeah, no, that definitely makes sense. Yeah, I definitely think that a lot of people like a lot like writing is like, very much. So something that you had to learn growing up like in academics and school. And a lot of it is like more academic writing. And it’s like less creative. So like, I really agree with what you’re saying like when you’re when you have that like creative ability to like, write something that is maybe more meaningful to you or like, you have to think outside of the box, and like really get deep with it, it honestly can be like a much more exciting experience and more rewarding cause. It’s more like personal to you. So yeah.
LK: what was the process of writing “Learning to Live Again” like?
LS: I mean it was something that was so significant to me for so long. So I feel like once I started writing, I kind of didn’t really have to think about it. It would kind of just flow out. And it felt like there were so many overwhelming thoughts that I needed to get down on the paper. I had such a hard time condensing such a packed, emotionally-charged situation into like a few pages. But, as I said, since that was the prompt for my assignment. I kinda just. I had a hard time getting it started. I didn’t know. Like maybe I’m pushing boundaries too hard. Maybe I’m getting a little too insensitive. There were so many things in my head that were telling me like, Okay, maybe reel it in a little like you don’t want to expose this side of yourself like. There are so many things in the beginning where I was nervous about exposing myself and being super open and vulnerable. But then I feel like once I started. It kind of was like cracking an egg like everything just poured out after that. II found it like very enlightening for myself. As I was writing these things down, I realized how far I came and how powerful that is, and how much discipline it took. So, as I was writing it, it was kind of just reinforcing the things that sometimes get away from me. And recovery when things aren’t going so well. It kind of helped me like reel it back in and realize. how important it was for me to like, hear myself say and how important it probably is for other people to read. So it was kind of. Just at first I was apprehensive to admit those things about myself.but then, once I did, I was able to really just be honest. and it really help me to see these things like in words on paper. It’s kinda like concrete evidence that something was changing like that. I changed cause sometimes it’s easy to beat yourself up, and if you have. maybe a back slide. or you go back in your progress a little bit, it’s easy to beat yourself up over that get stuck on it. Oh, I’m never gonna get better. This keeps coming back, even though I feel like I’m getting better. So to see that progress that I made. and to just process it and flesh it out emotionally. It was really healing for me. Honestly.
Lydia Teresa Kado: that’s so cool. I have a few thoughts about that. First of all, I totally understand the difficulty, and really like breaking the ice with like writing something that is more vulnerable. I mean, I’ve definitely felt that way in the past. But you know, I think that like this is really something that, like a lot of people do struggle with. And I, in my opinion, I will see it as like normalizing, like an actual health issue. Like IA lot of people will talk about don’t know. They’ll talk about cancer, and they’ll talk about I guess, like breaking a leg. But you know an eating disorder is also a health issue. So you know, it’s really talking about like your what’s going on like medically, and the struggle of like overcoming that, and focusing on like recovering like that is honestly something that is difficult to talk about, because it is personal. But I think that it is like a very brave thing to do, and I think that people can only benefit from reading it. You know, unless it is like triggering in some sort. I really think that it is something that people like can benefit from. Then the other thing that you said about it kind of being like cracking an egg. Yeah, I think that’s so cool. I honestly think that writing is like such a good way to like really like cope with like something that’s happened, or a situation like it really just is like this. like mental release of like getting your thoughts down on paper like really making it tangible and like you can really reflect on it. And like just telling your story, it feels really nice. And also, like I completely get what you’re saying about like reading it after, and like even kind of revisiting it over time. So like, after like a year, 2 years like you really start to see like that is who I was at that point, and like this is who I am now, and seeing that, like progress is honestly just like so grounding and just so rewarding for someone so good for you like. It is like a very difficult thing to like.especially like get started to write like getting started writing on like you really have to like kind of push yourself to begin. But you know, obviously issues that are very like emotional and personal to us. It’s gonna be so much easier to write and tell our stories, because, like. t is really something that we are very knowledgeable. And so yeah, good for you. And like, you know, obviously, your experience and like just your ability to like capture like your experience, the details, the events, like all of that, it was very strong. So I can tell that like, it was really something that did like impact you. So yeah.
LK: Are there any messages, or like takeaways that you hope your readers will have when they read your piece.
LS: I think just knowing that this isn’t like a singular person struggling against the world; there’s so much support out there that’s hard to feel when you’re in the thick of things. It’s very lonely and isolating. It was one of the loneliest times of my life, not only because I felt alone, but because I was kind of ashamed for a while about admitting that I needed help, and I’m a very independent person. At first I didn’t want anybody’s help. So I think the message that I would want is just not to be afraid to seek help, you’re not alone. An eating disorder feels so hard to overcome, if you’re in denial of it, or stuck in the mind space of having one for so long. But, it is possible to get better. You might not ever feel a hundred per cent. You might not feel like the most confident person in the world. You might not love yourself a hundred percent all the time, but recovery is a possible thing, and it’s a part of the process to backslide.
And he more important part, how you know progress is really happening is, if if you can pull yourself out of that time and just grow. You can’t really measure recovery at all. But as long as you are able to pull yourself out of these moments, then that’s more important than anything like recovery can be as small as eating pasta for the first time in a few months, or eating something you’re afraid to, or going a few days without working out or like. That’s an accomplishment. Any baby step is an accomplishment. So also that you can’t just give up more important to just fight through it and have moments. have weak moments. But as long as you’re able to overcome those recovery and progress is happening
LK: that is really profound. Yeah, I’m very happy that you wrote this piece and that you’re talking about it now, because, like, you know, that’s something that I learned, too, is that eating disorders literally like they thrive in isolation. And it can be like a very lonely experience. And you can really tell yourself, like no one else goes through this. I’m in this alone. I don’t need help. I’m fine but really being able to push out of that, and then also like being able to go back and reflect about your experience is amazing. and just reflecting, like you can reflect on your progress now, which is like fantastic. And like, Yeah, you’re exactly right, you know, like sometimes it’ll be 2 steps forward, one step backwards. But you know, you just have to, you know, keep going. And yeah, like, II really think that like the message that you’re sending is very powerful and just something that, like so many people need to hear? Especially like those who really need support. So yeah, that is amazing.
LK: okay, so my next question is, what did, and you also kind of talked about this. But what did you struggle with the most while writing your piece?
LS: I think kind of what I said earlier, pushing away the negative and embarrassed side of myself — the side that didn’t wanna tell people about my experience or was embarrassed to share these really personal, somewhat private details of my life and expose them to people that I don’t even know. I kind of just had a fear of other people seeing this side of me and having a reaction or having a certain idea about me. But at some point I just overcame that, and it ended up just feeling really good. It was also hard to reflect on such a painful time. Not that I don’t still think about it a lot, but it’s another thing to like, really ponder it and flush it out and try to make sense of it like in words. Because sometimes there’s not a word for how I was feeling, or sometimes I didn’t have a word for the intense, crazy moments that happened that I can’t even describe. I guess it was hard to put words to my thoughts.
Writer To Writer Literary Journal 