143 | Madi Altman

I didn’t expect it to be this hard

moving on.

I never noticed how intertwined

our lives have been since August.

Walking home alone at 1:30am,

not having anyone to call besides you,

but knowing I can’t call you

broke me.

I knew you’d answer if I called,

we are still “friends”,

but I had to refrain

in fear of crying and telling you

three little words.

I missed you on the bus back to campus.

Everyone was tired and upset and drunk

and I wanted you next to me,

arm around my waist as I would rest my head

upon your shoulder.

I almost texted you those three silly words,

but I knew better.

You don’t think of me

like I think of you,

considering you were the one who

“had” feelings.

And it kills me,

that even when I’m drunk or alone or sad,

I can’t tell you

“I miss you,

I love you.”